Throughout the last 4 years being trained and mentored by some of the best coaches and facilitators on the planet, I was constantly told ‘it is not about what happens to you….it is about how you respond to what happens to you that matters’. They also constantly reinforced this principle as well – ‘nothing actually has meaning, until we give it meaning’. And whilst I understood this intellectually and constantly shared this with clients and in workshops, I often felt that I was saying it logically, and that part of me still didn’t believe it. Well, the events of last week changed that, with 5 workshops booked to deliver, including 1 in country Victoria, requiring me to travel a considerable distance. After facilitating 2 workshops in the city, I drove 200km to a country town to deliver workshop #3. About 50km before my destination, my car stopped suddenly with a massive ‘crunch’, followed by an extremely loud grinding noise. I actually thought it was the end of my favourite car! Knowing I needed to get to my destination in order to prepare for workshop #3, I immediately contacted roadside assistance and organised a tow truck, called ahead to the venue I was staying to advise them I would be late, then co-ordinated a taxi to take me the remaining 50km.
When I arrived at the venue, I suddenly realised how calm I was and how 5 years ago, if this had have happened, I would have been very emotional, in particular, angry! It demonstrated just how far I had developed over the past 4 years – the fact that I realised there was no emotion at all attached to what had happened. I realised it was how I responded to it that allowed me to have power and enabled me to prepare efficiently for the next workshop.
Do you find yourself getting emotional over things that happen to you? If you do, reflect upon the following principles and seek to implement them :
- Understand that it it actually not what happens to you, it is how you respond to what happens to you that matters. Stuff is always going to happen, and often it will be beyond your control, so accept that, and then choose a response. You are in control of your response.
- When something happens, irrespective of it being positive or negative, say these 3 words ‘Isn’t that interesting’. This comes from the great American philosopher Jim Rohn and by saying these 3 words, it allows you some time and space to ‘think and process’ before responding.
- Understand that nothing has meaning until we attach meaning to it. So as you say the 3 words above, make a decision as to whether what has just happened has any meaning.
- Make a decision to look at life and what has just happened with a ‘glass 3/4 full’ attitude, and notice what happens. Search for the seed of opportunity in what happens and look to water and nourish it, so that it can grow.
When I adopted these principles last week, I recognised that I had no emotion attached to what happened – I simply got on with the job or preparing and then delivering an empowering workshop. I decided that if my car could not be fixed, I would find a solution and that it would be all good. And through this, I realised how calm I was in the belief that it would all work out. So if you find that you are often affected by what happens to you, implement the above principles and notice how calmer and at ease you feel.
Remember, it is not what happens to you….
To your continued success.
Darren
If we haven’t already connected via LinkedIn, please send me an invitation to connect. I would love to connect.
I would also welcome the opportunity to have a conversation with you. I currently have 3 slots available over the next week for a 30 minute 1:1 strategy call. If you are experiencing a current challenge around your leadership, I would love to help. Send me an email at darren@darrenmitchell.com.au and we’ll set up a time to chat. No obligation, and no cost. I look forward to connecting with you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post – I greatly appreciate it, and welcome comments and feedback. Please feel free to comment below, to follow me on LinkedIn, or to connect via Twitter, or Facebook.
Darren is a Sales Leadership and Sales Performance Coach, Facilitator & Speaker. He is an experienced and committed coach with a background of sales leadership success in large organisations. He applies a genuine focus to coaching and developing high performing sales leaders who are looking to unleash the potential of themselves and their teams.
